我优求知网圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事（精选5篇）
一则则有趣的笑话总能让我们忍俊不禁，恢复喜悦的情绪，你听过什么有意思的笑话故事吗？以下整理了一些有趣的笑话故事，希望大家阅读后感到欢愉。
圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事 篇1
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事 篇2
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar．
Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour， and then Mr．Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when youve had enough？ Well， Ill tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，youve had enough and should go home．”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar．”
有益的教训
在英国，十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。
汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒，但他从陶宝网来不带他的儿子汤姆去，因为他年纪太小。后来，当汤姆年满十八岁的时候，汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时，而后，汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆，现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢？好，我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗？当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，应该回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。”
圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事 篇3
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事 篇4
A wealthy matron（主妇，保姆） is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric（古怪的） woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. ″Dad,″ says the son, ″theres something Ive got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?″
″Son,″ the father replies, ″I painted the vase.″
一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩花瓶而深感骄傲,以至于竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的`颜色。几名油漆匠试***调出这个底色,但是谁也不能令那位古怪的妇女满意。
最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那位富婆对他的成果非常满意,油漆匠于是一举成名。
多年以后,他退休了,生意也交给了儿子。“爸爸,”儿子说：“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么完美的？”
“儿子,”父亲回答说：“我漆了花瓶。”
圣诞节中英文双语笑话故事 篇5
A man walked into a doctors examining room.
"Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
"O.K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "Its clear whats wrong with you. You need more exercise."
"But, doctor," the man said. "I dont think--"
"Dont tell I me what you think, " the doctor said "I am the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least 20 minutes a day."
"Doctor, you dont understand," the patient said "I -- "
"I dont want to hear any excuses," the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. If you dont, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older."
"But I walk every day," the patient said.
"Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few more feet from the station to your office, and a few more feet from your office to a restaurant for lunch and back. Thats not real walking. Im talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day. "
"Please listen to me, doctor！" the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor who thought he knew everything.
"Im a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day."
For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, will you?"
一人走进一家诊所。
“伸出舌头，”医生说。
那人伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。
“好了，把舌头缩回去吧。”医生说，“你的病因很明显。你需要更多的运动。”
“但是，医生，”那人说，“我不认为——”
“不要告诉我你认为怎么样，”医生说，“我是医生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计的你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分钟。”
“医生，你不知道，”病人说，“我——”
“我不想听任何理由。”医生说，“你应该抽出时间来运动。如果你不锻炼，那么当你老的时候，你就会变得很胖，并且有健康问题。”
“但我每天都走路的，”病人说。
“喔，是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步。你走几英尺的路，从家到火车站，又走几英尺从车站到办公室，然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆去吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园里散步20分钟。”
“请听我说，医生！”病人叫起来，对那位自以为什么都知道的医生很生气。
“我是一名邮递员，”病人接着说，“我每天得走7小时的路。”
医生闷在那里半天无语。然后他轻声地说：“再把你的舌头伸出来，行吗？”
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